the year is 3045
i am still laughing about “none pizza with left beef”
Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.
Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK!
Types of people who romanticize small town life:
- People who didn’t grow up in small towns
I thought the 11th Doctor fit Cecil’s personality better than 10 o 9
…and I wanted to draw a grumpy Carlos
in a skirt
I’ll turn in my fandom badge now.
So this is hilarious and I’m so happy right now.
This lovely blogger is taking commissions and you should totally go pay Ira for one cause look at this.
this is my dog. he is supposed to be dressed as the big bad wolf in Red Riding Hood after he has nommed the grandmother and donned her clothes
but look at him. he is not a bad wolf. he just looks like a granny.
he just wants to hear how you’re doing far away at school and are you eating enough can he make you soup do you have a good coat it’s starting to get chilly out.
Amanda Abbington, on how she and Martin Freeman met.
this smooth ass motherfucker